Giving Thanks

In light of Thanksgiving being next week, I really need to write an entry about some things I am thankful for.  So, today, I decided I would write about my Mom, Patti. Our relationship has seen ups and downs for sure, but my Mom is someone I can always count on when I need something.  I am thankful for her now, probably more that I have ever been.  I think we have both grown to understand each other better in the recent years, which is a great feeling.

When we were little kids (I have 3 Sisters) I can remember distinctly each outfit my Mom would wear.  I don't remember them because they were that great (although my Mom always looked neat and clean), I remember them because there were so few.  I never got that until later in life when I was conscious of my own clothes and I realized that my Mom always wore the same clothes and rarely bought anything for herself because she spent every dime she had on us girls. 

I can remember each and every Labor Day through school when she would drop us off at the start of the Labor Day Parade (many years we were all in different activities), watch us each go through, and then pick us all up at the end.  There were some years that Jamie (my Twin) and I had to go through the parade 2 or 3 times because we were involved in so many different activities.  That, takes dedication.  The last thing I want to do on Labor is carpool kids back and forth through a parade.  I'm sure I will get my fair share sooner than later.

Anytime any of us girls came home and said we wanted to join an extra-curricular activity,  a way was always made.  My Dad traveled for work, so many times, it was up to Mom to shuffle schedules and figure out how to get 4 girls to activities on the weekends and during the week.  Talk about crazy!  In my high school years, I began to play club volleyball.  The team I played on was a travel team and was very expensive.  Somehow, someway, there was always a way made so I could play.

At Christmas, there were always so many gifts under the tree that you could hardly walk through our living room.  Christmas was always a magical time of year at my house.  My parents weren't the kind of parents who bought us toys all year long (which was a good thing), so Christmas was always a really fun time for us.  Not only were there gifts, but there was always wonderful food, beautiful China, and most importantly Family.  I will never take fore granted the Holidays at our home.  As we have grown older and matured in our own lives, Christmas has changed some, but not the feeling of walking into Mom's house and seeing all the decorations and trees and food and presents and so on.  It's definitely a feeling I want to pass on to my little girl!

There's been many times in my life where I have been wronged (who hasn't) and I can say that I've always had my Mom to walk me through it.  Of course, there's also been times where I have been wrong too, and she's definitely walked me through those as well.  I've always appreciated the fact that I wasn't a pedestal child.  I've never been portrayed as perfect, and I've always been accepted when I've failed.   I certainly hope I can be so true with myself when Emme is growing up.  I don't ever want to watch her grow with blinders on!

This Fall, my Mom and Grandmother joined Shannon, Emme, and I for vacation in Florida.  I have always known my Mother's love for the beach, so I was quite excited to have them with us.  It was a wonderful week, a rare time when we could spend Mother/Daughter time without anyone else (remember I have 3 Sisters).  I enjoyed the vacation so much because we spent everyday on the beach just chatting, just the two of us.  Don't mistake me, I thoroughly enjoy our big Family times (there are 19 of us total), but it's definitely not the time to have one on one conversation.  It really meant a lot to me that my Mom would take the time out of her busy work schedule and also her vacation time, to spend a week with us.  Of course, who in their right mind would turn down a week at the beach?

I could go on with more stories, but I think we all get the point.  Mom, thanks for the sacrifices, love, and time you have put into making me who I am today.  I, am Thankful, for you.

Surgery, Take 3.

Well folks, we did it! We made it through three surgeries in three weeks.  I'm really surprised at how well Shannon has done.  I know that I have given him a hard time through my blog about how bad of a patient he is, but truthfully, he isn't all that bad.  Anybody who knows Shannon, knows that he can be a little high maintenance at times, but seriously- I think he has earned a "trooper" badge in my book.  In fact, I think I've earned one too.  I'm not sure I know too many people who would be so patient through something like this.

Last night on the way to Louisville, we stopped at Rafferty's in Bowling Green to eat dinner.  After we got back in the car to finish the drive, I felt a little sad.  I know it sounds weird, but I'm kind of sad that this whole ordeal is coming to an end.  For the last three Wednesday's, Shannon and I have basically had a "date night."  Some may not think it's that big of a deal to stop and have dinner with their husband, but we rarely get a night to ourselves that's child-free.  I think I can count on one hand the times that we've had that chance.  So there ya go, selfishly, I've enjoyed part of this journey because I have been able to have a kid-free dinner with my husband.

Another sadness I realized today is that we have become very friendly with several of the staff at the hospital.  I know you all will be so surprised that Shannon made friends with everyone we came in contact with, but the staff at the hospital was truly one of  a kind.  I must tell you their names, just because if anyone from Norton Brownsboro reads this, they'll know how much we appreciated them.  Wilma was the waiting-room-one-of-a-kind-nicest-lady-I-ever met person; Mary was the absolute best about getting Shannon ready for surgery especially because she kept him laughing (or maybe he kept her laughing) prior to go time; Ann was the best pre-surgery nurse who tortured (not really) Shannon by inserting his I.V. and asking all the fun questions; and then there's Jason who was so kind post-op to my overly dramatic husband.  I don't think  we could thank you enough, and I promise Shannon will be by to share with you the results of his surgery.  Of course I can't end this paragraph without saying another "thank-you" to Dr. Todd Shanks.  Thank you for giving my husband the opportunity to find some normalcy again.

Before surgery today, Wilma (the receptionist in the waiting room) came to tell me we had visitors.  I had no earthly idea who it could be.  About a month ago, Shannon sang in Lawrenceburg, KY for Pastor Rick Clark.  Donnie and Shirley are a part of that church.  Today, they took time out of their day to stop by and pray for Shannon and just visit before surgery.  It was such a blessing to our day.  Thank you both for coming by this  morning.  It really meant a lot.

With all of that being said, I am truly happy that this over.  It's been a LONG three weeks for me, and I know it's been even longer for Shannon.  Shannon's heading back out on the road this weekend (with a little help of course) and I know he is more than ready to sing again.  I will tell you he has kept his voice in shape by singing for the entire operating room the last two weeks.

Well, I guess that's about it for now.  I can't end without saying "thanks" to all of our Veterans today.  Thanks for your service and sacrifices!

TGFN (Thank Goodness for Naps)

Whew.  What a blur the last few days have been.  We returned home from Louisville on Friday.  We got home and had about an hour and a half to catch our breath before Jennifer (our Angel from God who has been keeping Emme through Shannon's surgeries) returned Emme to our house.  Within 45 minutes, Shannon's Mom and Aunt also showed up for the weekend. All I can say is, wow.  I thought it would be a stress-free, relaxing weekend, with a little bit of help from his Mom and Aunt, but.....everything went downhill from there.

Emme woke up Saturday morning with a little bit of a runny nose, but nothing to worry about.  Shannon's Mom likes to check out yard sales and Goodwill while she is in town, so I thought that would be an easy way to keep everybody occupied and give Shannon a little bit of time to rest.  Emme was extremely over-tired and refused to take a nap.  We ended up taking her with us for the day and we picked up Shannon after a few hours because he wanted in on the fun too.  (Insert sarcasm here.)  Anyhow, after Goodwill's and yard-sales, Shannon took his Mom to get an eye-exam (they are cheaper here, I suppose) and I dropped by my school's Fall Carnival.  Luckily, Emme fell asleep in the car, so she did at least get a nap in.  After the eye-exam was finished, we went to Five Guys to eat a late lunch/dinner.  Shannon simply overdid it.  He was exhausted by the time we got home and I was too.  I'm tired just writing about it.  By the time we got Emme down to sleep for the night, she was tugging at her ear and patting her forehead saying "it hurts."  Fantastic.

After a pretty restless night, Emme woke up Sunday morning with green goo coming out of her nose.  I patiently waited for the Urgent Care to open so I could get some antibiotics in her system.  After we returned from the Urgent Care (it was a pretty painless and quick trip thank goodness) Shannon's Mom and Aunt hit the road.  I thought "Great! We can all take a nap!"  Ha!  By the time I got Emme down for her nap and went to the pharmacy to fill her prescription, she was back up again.  Shannon was exhausted so he went upstairs to take a nap.  I stayed up with Emme, but somewhere along the way, I think I drifted off to sleep.  She took full advantage of my closed eyes and dumped the entire amount of water in the humidifier on the carpet, went to her room and removed every book from the shelf, and in the process woke up her Dad.  And that folks, is about the time I hit the wall.

By this point, Emme's got green goo coming out of both eyes which are now turning pink, and she's running a fever.  Looks like another day off of work for me.  Great.  I'm now officially out of sick days after this week.  Keep your fingers crossed nobody else in my family gets sick,  because I'm working without pay if they do.  Anyway, we called her pediatrician's office who kindly called in antibiotic eye-drops for Emme (they RARELY call in anything without being seen) but we had to drive across town to pick them up at the only 24 hour pharmacy open near us.

Emme slept better last night and Shannon was up before us this morning.  That definitely means he is starting to bounce back.  We worked around the house some this morning and then I lost it.  I NEEDED A NAP!

Up until this point I think I've handled brain surgery pretty well.  But today, it all just hit me.  Okay, it really hit me last night as we were trudging to Wal-Green's to pick up our second antibiotic for the day, but whatever.  We had about $70.00 in our bank account to last us until someone got paid.  I don't get paid again until next week and Shannon is supposed to work this weekend.  So there ya go.  $70.00 for groceries, gas to Louisville, hotel Wednesday night, and food while we are out of town.  Not to mention, Emme's daycare for the week, and gas to get Shannon to his dates this weekend.  Nope.  It wasn't going to happen.  I called my Mom and she gladly said she would help us out.  (By the way, I HATE asking my Mom for help unless it is an absolute have to.  Mom's always understand and never complain, it just sucks to have to do it.)  Whew, one thing of the stress list.  Now, the stupid scale is killing me.  I've gained about 6 pounds in the last month.  I know most of it is stress weight, but I feel gross and I don't like the way my clothes fit.  I'll be on a mission in a few weeks to work all of that back off and hopefully more, so I've decided not to stress about that either.  Great, check two off the stress list.

Now for the nap.  We took my favorite kind of nap today.  A family nap.  We all laid down together for the first time since all this stupid surgery started.  It was great.  My little unit, all warm in the bed together- well except Walter- he was outside chasing his shadow.  I'll save that story for another day.  We took about a 2 hour nap and we all got up with a fresh face.  Thank goodness.  Emme's even back to normal for the most part.

After our nap, I looked at our mail and we had received a card from a tiny little church in Lagarto, TX called Lagarto Community Church.  They are some of our favorite people and we have shared in each others ups and downs.  The card was so encouraging and even contained one of Shannon's favorite scriptures from the bible.  Enclosed was a gift from the people of Lagarto.  I'm not sure they will ever know just how much it meant for Shannon and I for them to send this.  Now, I can black sharpie cross of the list my first worry.  I think we can survive until next payday.   Both Shannon and I wept today when we read their card.  Shannon said there are days that his job is hard and tiring, but today was one of the days where his job was the most rewarding.  Our God is an on-time God.

Needless to say, after our naps, we felt rested and re-energized.  I've learned that I need to rest.  Next time I feel stressed and overwhelmed, I going to remind myself TGFN.  Until then....

Surgery: Part 2

Hello friends.  I fully intended on writing this blog last night, but I will be honest, I was completely worn out.  Yesterday was the "big" surgery for Shannon.  We were both a little more anxious on this round.  We knew going into this endeavor that there were risks involved.  Anytime you work inside the brain, it can be risky.

The day started pretty good.  We were supposed to report to the hospital at 7:30 a.m. and his surgery was supposed to begin about 11:00.  Shannon was Dr. Shanks second surgery and apparently the first surgery ran a little long.  They didn't actually take Shannon back to surgery until around 12:45 p.m.  I think the added time waiting, made us both a little more anxious.  Shannon said he really wanted to be the first patient so he could be in and out and not have to wait.  Sometimes, we don't get everything we wish for.  Dr. Shanks came by to see us before the surgery and was kind enough to let me know he read my blog.  I was a little dumbfounded and impressed that this Dr. had time to sit and read my thoughts.  I guess Shannon and I have made a good impression- or at least that's what I'm going to believe.  

When they wheeled Shannon back for surgery, one of the nurses asked him what he did for employment.  Shannon explained to her that he was a Christian Music Entertainer and she asked him if he knew "Amazing Grace."  He quickly replied he definitely knew that and then she asked him if he could sing "Page 370."  To which Shannon quickly replied "Victory in Jesus."  Anyhow, Shannon never turns down an audience, so he sang for the nurses and staff before surgery.  I think they all knew what Shannon did for a living and they were just testing him to see if he was good at what he did.  I suppose they figured that out.

This is where the endless day of waiting began.  To pass the time, I wrote a blog.   After I finished that, I played what felt like about 6,247 games of Solitaire on my phone.  I anticipated the surgery to run a little long, but I definitely didn't expect it to last 5 1/2 hours.  The only updates I got throughout the whole surgery was that surgery was still in progress and everything was going well.  Somewhere around the 5 hour mark, I got antsy, nervous, etc.  I think for the most part, I was mentally and physically exhausted at that point.  

After the surgery, Dr. Shanks came out to meet me.  Sometimes by the look on someones face you can tell when something wasn't exactly quite right.  I knew by the look on his face that there was something, I just didn't know what.  Shannon is a very complicated person.  He is extremely sensitive to the touch, has these crazy responses called "vagal" responses where he will pass out if his body senses anything weird, etc.,and he's been known to have a panic attack or two.  Basically, during the surgery process, every single weird body thing that Shannon has, happened.  At some point during the surgery, Shannon's blood pressure shot up extremely high and his face drew up.  Dr. Shanks was concerned that there could have been a stroke during the surgery.  When he came out to talk to me, he let me know that Shannon was down having a CT Scan to rule that out.  The brain is very complicated and sometimes things happen that the Dr.'s can't explain.  This was basically one of those times.  I am grateful to tell you that his face is back to normal, and there was NO stroke.  I didn't release this information last night because I didn't want to scare anyone if there was no reason to.  But, this explains why we got to stay in ICU last night instead of a regular room.  Dr. Shanks wanted Shannon to have a little extra supervision, just because it would make everybody feel better based on the days events. 

I will tell everyone that Dr. Shanks said he got great responses from Shannon during surgery.  Did I mention he was awake for the whole process?  They did numb him where they were working, but he was not under anesthesia.  It did take about 4 times more numbing medicine that what it takes a normal person, but what do you expect, it's Shannon we are talking about.  So back to the responses, when they put the stimulating probes in yesterday, they do turn on the generator to try to see where is the best placement.  Dr. Shanks told me that they did see many positive signs when they turned the generator on.  One instance was in Shannon's hands.  He said when they turned everything on, his hands relaxed quite a bit.  I am so thankful for that. 

We had a long night last night, with frequent wake ups, but all in all I feel rested.  I know I will definitely want a nap eventually, but I don't feel exhausted like I did last week.  It excites me to know that we are 2/3 of the way through with this process.  Next week will end the surgical process.  We have waited for this day for so long.  I am extremely optimistic about Shannon's future in the Dystonia world.  I think after it's all said and done Shannon needs a t-shirt that says "I kicked Dystonia to the curb!" 

Hopefully, I will only have to update you a few more times regarding this dumb Dystonia and then I can get back to my more fun, entertaining blogs.  Until then....

While Shannon's in Surgery

While Shannon's in surgery today, I decided that I would pass the time by writing. 

Today's surgery will consist of the surgical team placing two probes somewhere in his brain, but not just anywhere, they will be going deep into the brain.  Today they will keep Shannon awake so that when they get the probes in, he can give them feedback regarding how he is feeling.  The probes are intended to be placed in the part of his brain that is causing his muscles to be in distress.  He will be asked to solve simple math problems, perform basic fine-motor skills, and so forth.

I made a mistake in my last posting about the hospital Shannon is at.  He is at Norton Hospital Brownsboro.  I am just as impressed on my second trip here as I was the first.  One of the nurses told me that they are working on earning fleece jackets by getting good survey feedback.  I think they all deserve new cars. 

Shannon was a little more anxious today than he was last week.  I completely understand that, because I was too.  I wasn't beside myself, but all morning I've had a pit in my stomach and felt the sudden urge to cry.  I'm not a crier.  I am such a hard person that I can't show my emotions.  I'll learn, but for now I'll blame all that on my Dad.  He's hard too. 

Shannon's Mom and Aunt will be coming to town this weekend to visit and help with Shannon.  I don't think he will need much help, but I'm glad that his Mom will get to spend some time with Emme.  I also have a group of friends coming in this weekend, so hopefully with his Mom here, I can go and visit with them.

Emme's been a bit of a challenge in the last week.  She's definitely getting closer to 2, and it's no secret!  She is a very independent child and she learns really fast.  A few nights ago in the bathtub she started singing, "The Wheels on the Bus..." and I just looked at her like, "what the heck, who taught you that?"  That's not a song that we have pulled out of our hat yet, so, I was surprised that she already knew it.  Emme will sing ANY song and is happy to sit at the piano anytime, audience or not.  Thankfully, it looks like she has her Daddy's love for music.  Scarily, it looks like she's got a little of her Momma's personality.  I mean, I know I'm great and all, but....it took a long time to get here! 

As far as school goes, I feel SO out of the loop.  I was at a Conference Monday and Tuesday, worked Wednesday, and now I'm out Thursday and Friday.  I was particularly sad about missing school today because I am missing the Wilson County Olympics.  I selected an Olympic team and they went today to compete against other teams from our county.  My Assistant Principal, Nick Nance, was kind enough to take them for me, but I sure wanted to go.  Speaking of school, I was very thankful for dinner from my Principal's last week.  What a kind gesture. 

We are also happy to be joining a new church, Joy Church in Mt. Juliet.  We have been members of Cornerstone Church in Madison for 5 1/2 years, and we loved it, however, the drive was merely impossible with a baby.  Other deciding factors were we wanted Emme to be in a church where some of her peers would be.  We also wanted to be in a church closer to our own community so we could help and worship with people from around our area. Joy Church is very similar to Cornerstone and the Pastor, Jim Frease, is a hoot.  I have thoroughly enjoyed the services.  Emme must be happy with the nursery, because she walks right on in when we get there.  What a relief!

One last update, Shannon is getting ready to record again!!!  I'll leave all the details for him to disclose, but we should have new product by the first of the year.  I can't wait!

Thanks for reading today.  I'll try to update again tonight, post surgery.  Until then...